


One Piece PETs: Accident-prone Tiger

by moonlitinuyasha1985, XFangHeartX



Series: One Piece PETs [128]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Accidents, Anthropomorphic, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 17:25:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3700817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitinuyasha1985/pseuds/moonlitinuyasha1985, https://archiveofourown.org/users/XFangHeartX/pseuds/XFangHeartX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Zoro has to spend some quality time with his children and things go horribly wrong. Takes place post-timeskip/future.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Piece PETs: Accident-prone Tiger

**One Piece PETs: Accident-prone Tiger**

 

(I do not, nor will I EVER, own One Piece. This looney series belongs to the zany Eiichiro Oda.)

 

 

   Robin was going out to shop through a town on an island that the Straw Hats had just recently docked at. Thus, Zoro was left to watch Kuina and Hanako.

 

"Call me if there's any trouble," said Robin.

 

_'Which you probably will,'_ she added in thought.

 

"Don't worry, Robin," Zoro called. "Everything will be fine."

 

_'I hope so,'_ thought Robin as she left.

 

Now, Zoro was left with his two children.

 

"Okay, then," he told them. "what would you kids like to do while your mom's away?"

 

"Well," Kuina began, "can we play Hide and Seek?"

 

"Or maybe spar a little?" Hanako added.

 

"All right," Zoro answered. "we'll flip a coin to see what we'll do first."

 

"Okay," Hanako and Kuina replied.

 

Zoro took out a coin from his pocket, flipped it, caught it and placed it on the back of his hand, and saw that it was Heads.

 

"Okay, Hanako," he started. "I get to spar with you."

 

"Awesome!" said Hanako.

 

The Hybrid adolescent and his father spared while Kuina sat by and watched. The fight started out fine...suddenly...it happened.

 

***BAP!!***

 

"AGH!! DAD, YOU HIT MY EYE!!!"

 

"Hanako!" Kuina cried as she ran over to her older brother.

 

"Hanako, I'm sorry!" Zoro apologized.

 

Hanako winced as he held his left eye.

 

"How bad is it?" he asked.

 

Hanako took his paw away...revealing his left eye, swollen and bruised.

 

"WHOA!!" Zoro cried. "WHAT A SHINER!!!"

 

"Hanako~!" Kuina wailed as she hugged her brother.

 

"It's okay, Kuina," Hanako assured. "It's just a black eye. I'm not dead."

 

"But, it looks really bad," Kuina sniffled. "Maybe we should put some ice on it."

 

"Right," Hanako agreed as he went to the kitchen to get some ice.

 

As soon as he did, he placed the ice into a cloth, tied it up, and placed it over his eye.

 

"Ah," he sighed. "Much better."

 

"Can we play Hide and Seek now, Papa?" Kuina asked.

 

"Sure, kiddo," Zoro answered as he pet her on the head. "Whatever you want."

 

"Yay!" Kuina cheered. "You can count and I'll hide."

 

Zoro nodded before he covered his eyes with his paws.

 

"1...2...3..." he counted.

 

Kuina used this head-start to go and hide.

 

_'Has to be a good hiding spot,'_ she thought. _'But where?'_

 

She couldn't hide up in the Crow's Nest, because that'd be too obvious; it's the same with her room.

 

_'Where am I gonna hide?'_ she thought. _'Papa has a good sense of smell, so it's gotta be some place that hides my scent.'_

 

Then, she smiled as a light bulb appeared over her head.

 

_'That's it!'_ she thought before she ran into the storage room and hid among Zoro's wine stash. _'Papa would never think to find me in here! Hehehe!'_

 

"17...18...19...20." Zoro finished. "All right, Kuina, here I come!"

 

Zoro began his search for his two-year old daughter.

 

"Where are you~?" he called.

 

_'He'll never fine me~.'_ thought Kuina.

 

Zoro entered the storage room.

 

"Kuina?" he called. "You in here?"

 

No answer.

 

"Huh," he muttered. "guess she's not here."

 

_'Hehehe!'_ Kuina giggled, mentally. _'I knew it! He'll never find me here!'_

 

"Wonder if she's up in the Crow's Nest," Zoro murmured as he left the room. "Or maybe in her room."

 

A pause.

 

"Nah, too easy," he spoke. "She always hides in there."

 

_'Guess again, Papa!'_ thought Kuina. _'Hehehehe!'_

 

"Where could she be?" Zoro asked himself. "Kuina?"

 

The little Cub Child still did not answer.

 

"Where is she?" Zoro muttered to himself. "I know she couldn't have gone far."

 

   He looked around in the kitchen, the bathhouse, the Soldier Dock System, the Library, his and Robin's room, the Aquarium Bar, the Sick Bay, and still no Kuina.

 

"Where the hell can she be?!" he questioned.

 

Truth be told, he was getting worried.

 

_'Okay, stay calm, Zoro,'_ he thought. _'she's probably hiding in a place that's hiding her scent.'_

 

That's when it finally hit him.

 

"My wine stash!" he exclaimed.

 

He went to go look, and sure enough, he found Kuina there.

 

"Hi, Papa." she greeted.

 

Zoro sighed in relief.

 

"Thank god," he spoke up. "You scared me."

 

"I did?" Kuina asked.

 

"Yeah," Zoro answered.

 

"I'm sorry, Papa," she apologized. "I didn't mean to scare you."

 

"Don't worry about it," Zoro responded as he picked Kuina up. "Just don't do that again."

 

"I won't." replied Kuina.

 

"You hungry?" Zoro asked. "How about lunch?"

 

"Yes, please," Kuina answered. "Just no nuts."

 

"Right, cuz you're allergic." spoke Zoro.

 

He took Kuina to the kitchen to get her something to eat.

 

"Let's see," he muttered. "What are we gonna make for you?"

 

"Hmm," Kuina hummed. "How about a sandwich?"

 

"Got it," Zoro answered.

 

He took two slices of bread, a brown jar, and a butter knife. At that moment, he spread it on the bread and gave it to Kuina.

 

"Here you go," he spoke.

 

"Thank you," Kuina replied before taking a bite of her sandwich.

 

This proved to be a big mistake. When she swallowed, she suddenly felt her throat starting to swell.

 

"Uh...Papa...?" she wheezed. "I can't breathe...!"

 

"What?!" Zoro questioned.

 

Kuina wheezed as she held her neck. Zoro looked at the jar and saw that it was not chocolate spread: it was hazelnut spread!

 

"OH, DAMN!!!" Zoro cursed. "WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!"

 

"Papa...!" Kuina gasped. "Help...!"

 

Zoro picked up Kuina and ran out of the kitchen.

 

"I gotta get that pen thing!" he exclaimed.

 

"Dad, what's going on?!" Hanako asked.

 

"Your sister ate something with nuts in it!!" Zoro cried.

 

"What!?" Hanako questioned. "Are you crazy?! She's horribly allergic!!"

 

"I didn't know it had nuts!" Zoro answered. "What is wrong with me today?!"

 

"Can't breathe...!" Kuina gasped.

 

"Wait, hang on!" Hanako spoke as he pulled out a syringe. "Here's Kuina's allergy medicine!"

 

   He wasted no time in injecting Kuina with the medication and not long after, Kuina began to breathe easier. The only problem was she is now really swollen.

 

"Oh, god!" Zoro cried.

 

"Kuina!" cried Hanako.

 

"Is it bad?" Kuina asked.

 

Zoro and Hanako were silent. The latter only held up a mirror and showed his sister's reflection to her and she whimpered.

 

"I look fat!" she sobbed.

 

"No, no!" Zoro cried. "You just...umm...help me out here, son!"

 

"Uh...it's just an allergic reaction!" Hanako explained. "You be back to normal, shortly."

 

"Really?" Kuina asked, sniffling.

 

"Yes," Hanako nodded.

 

That's when the transponder snail began ringing.

 

"Oh, man, it must be your mother," Zoro muttered with dread as he picked it up. "H-hello?"

 

**"Hi, Zoro,"** Robin greeted. **"How are Hanako and Kuina?"**

 

"...They're doing great!" Zoro lied.

 

**"What's the pause for?"** Robin asked.

 

"Oh, uh...well..." Zoro started.

 

"Don't worry about a thing, Mom!" Hanako chimed in. "Everything's fine!"

 

**"Are you sure, sweetheart?"** Robin asked.

 

"I'm positive," Hanako answered. "Smooth sailing through calm seas."

 

**"That's good to hear,"** Robin replied. **"I'll be back in about 10 minutes."**

 

"NO!!!" Zoro, Hanako, and Kuina cried.

 

**"Why? What's wrong?"** Robin asked.

 

"W-we, uh...want you to enjoy some time to yourself, that's all!" Hanako lied.

 

"He's right!" Zoro agreed.

 

**"Are you sure?"** Robin asked. **"Because I feel as though something's not right."**

 

"Everything's fine!" Zoro cried. "Don't come back, yet!"

 

**"All right, now I'm sure something's wrong,"** Robin said. **"I'm coming home, right now."**

 

"Robin, wait, don't--" Zoro tried to tell her.

 

***KA-CHAK!***

 

"...Okay, everyone panic," Zoro said.

 

That's just what the Roronoa/Nico family did.

 

"WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!" Hanako questioned.

 

"MAMA'S GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE!!!!" Kuina cried. "WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO IF SHE SEES ME LIKE THIS?!"

 

"That's easy, Kuina," Zoro answered. "she'll kill me."

 

"We are so boned!" Hanako cried.

 

"Hanako, you're not the one that's boned," Zoro clarified. "I am."

 

"Yeah, but if Mom hears we tried to cover up for you, THEN we're boned!" Hanako cried.

 

"What do we do, now?!" asked Kuina.

 

That was when a light bulb appeared over Hanako's head.

 

"I've got it!" he exclaimed.

 

He ran to his room and came back out wearing an eye patch over his black eye.

 

"An eye patch?" Zoro asked.

 

"Yeah!" Hanako answered. "If Mom asks, I'll just tell her it makes me look cool!"

 

"...That'll work," spoke Zoro.

 

   That's when a light bulb appeared over Kuina's head. She went to her room and came back covered in head-to-toe in snow pants, a thick winter jacket, a scarf covering her mouth, a hat, and a pair of sunglasses.

 

"There!" Kuina said. "Now, Mama won't see my swelling!"

 

"That works, too!" added Zoro.

 

"I'm back!" Robin's voice was heard.

 

"Robin!" Zoro exclaimed happily. "Welcome home!"

 

"Hello, Tiger," Robin greeted as she descended onto the _Sunny_ from the skies. "So, how'd it go?"

 

"Great!" Zoro answered. "Everything's great! We...we decided to play a little game of dress-up! It was Kuina's idea!"

 

"Hi, Mama," Kuina greeted, waddling over to Robin.

 

"Aww, well don't you look cute, sweetie?" Robin asked. "But you know, it's a bit too hot for those clothes. Why don't you take them off?"

 

"N-No!" Kuina cried.

 

"Why not?" Robin inquired.

 

"Uh...um...because they're comfy!" Kuina lied.

 

"Sweetheart, you're going to get heatstroke," Robin explained. "And Hanako, why are you wearing that eye patch?"

 

"It makes me look cool...?" Hanako answered.

 

"Hon, why are you really wearing that eye patch?" Robin asked. "Tell the truth."

 

   Hanako sighed before he removed his eye patch, revealing his black eye, and Kuina took off her scarf, revealing her swollen face. Robin reacted as such.

 

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** " she screamed. " **MY BABIES!!! MY BABIES!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BABIES?!?!** "

 

"Uh..." Zoro muttered.

 

"Hanako, where did you get that horrible black eye?!" Robin asked.

 

"Uh, I was mugged...?" Hanako answered.

 

"HANAKO!!!" Robin shouted. "TELL THE TRUTH!!!"

 

"Dad punched me!" Hanako cried.

 

"He did _WHAT_?!" Robin questioned before turning her attention to Kuina. "Kuina, why's your face so swollen!?"

 

"Hornets...?" Kuina answered.

 

"KUINA!!!" Robin shouted.

 

"Papa fed me a sandwich with nuts in it!" Kuina cried, tearing up.

 

"WHAT?!" Robin questioned.

 

"It was an accident, Mama!" Kuina explained. "Please don't kill Papa!"

 

Robin was silent for a moment until she said, "Hanako. I want you and Kuina to go to your rooms. I'm going to have a talk with your father."

 

_'I'm boned!'_ Zoro thought with a horrified look on his eyes.

 

Hanako gulped as he picked up Kuina and left.

 

"Papa..." the Crane/Tiger Cub Child whimpered.

 

   As soon as Kuina and her brother were out of sight, Robin glared at Zoro with murderous intent before she grabbed his neck and started to strangle him.

 

" **YOU LYING SACK OF _S***_!!!!** " she roared, squeezing Zoro's neck tighter and shaking him. " **HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING TO OUR CHILDREN?!!?!** "

 

"Robin...! It was an accident...!" Zoro choked.

 

" **I'LL SHOW YOU AN ACCIDENT!!!!!** " Robin roared.

 

"Aah...!" Zoro cried.

 

Suddenly, the sound of Zoro screaming in pain is heard as blows are heard landing.

 

"ROBIN!!!" Zoro shouted. "HAVE MERCY!!!"

 

" **NEVER!!!!** " Robin roared.

 

Kuina and Hanako sat in their rooms as the mother continued her brutal assault on their father. Abruptly, as quickly as it started, it was over.

 

Later, Zoro is in the Sick Bay, in a full-body cast. By then, Kuina's swelling had gone down. That, and Hanako's eye had healed a little, too.

 

"Mom, we're sorry for lying to you," Hanako apologized. "we just didn't want Dad to get in trouble."

 

"Well, while that it is honorable, it's still wrong," Robin spoke.

 

"We know," Kuina replied, lowering her head. "Sorry, Mama."

 

Robin gently pet her fledgling on her head.

 

"There, there," she told her.

 

Kuina sniffled.

 

"Next time," Robin started, "if something goes wrong, your father should tell me."

 

"I'm sorry, Robin..."

 

Robin looked at Zoro, who had a guilty expression his face.

 

"I just wanted to show that I was a good parent," he explained, "but I pretty much botched that up."

 

"Dad..." muttered Hanako.

 

"Papa..." Kuina whispered.

 

"Oh, Zoro," Robin spoke, morosely.

 

"If you never forgive me, then I'll understand." Zoro added.

 

"Don't say that!" Robin replied. "Zoro, you made two mistakes and then lied about it. Yes, I was upset, but I could never hate you."

 

"Robin..." Zoro spoke.

 

"I love you, Zoro," Robin smiled. "no matter what."

 

Zoro smiled at this.

 

"Aw~!" Kuina cooed.

 

Hanako smiled.

 

"I love you, too, Robin," Zoro spoke.

 

   Zoro learned a very important lesson, that day: next time there was an accident, he shouldn't try and cover it up. Another thing, don't let your children lie for you.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorta inspired by _Modern Family_.
> 
>  
> 
> Kuina's allergic to nuts, btw, among other things.
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you like reading this.


End file.
